Thumbelina (1994)

Horrible watch, won't watch again, and don't let people watch this. Almost everything past the premise of this movie is confusing and ridiculous, starting with the spelling, "ThumbElina"? It should be "ThumbAlina", that's a nit pick, but it honestly made the movie harder to find. I love the premise of a tiny person "birthed" to a wanting mother, but after that, the problems set in. Let's start with "birthed": she didn't magically appear out of the air, she wasn't born, she crawled out of a flower as a tiny adult, wearing a dress, and able to talk. This is some fey granted wish nonsense if I ever saw one. I understand using the name Thumbelina to describe her size, as "Fingerling" would probably be inappropriate, but she is perilously tiny: able to be crushed without notice, any big animal (duck, goose, cow, horse) will eat her without noticing, she should have drowned in the first act, twice I think, the wind alone would sweep her away, though she doesn't have to worry about falling to her death. This girl is short to Tinkerbell, who is at least 6 inches, and Thumbelina is about 2 inches (and a half, maybe), so she's only coming up to Tink's booty. The movie never clearly demonstrates this and morphs her body size anywhere up to a foot based on the needs of the scene. Bugs that wear clothes, with human eyes and teeth don't bother me, I get that because they don't have faces that translate, but amphibians and birds with very human teeth and tongues (geese have their own teeth) is disturbing, and that swallow was downright horrifying. It is a BIRD, the pinnacle of aerodynamic nature in, not only, boots, shirt, and a hat, but GLOVES, it may be the most distracting thing I've ever seen. Even when you anthropomorphize a bird to use their wings as hands, gloves don't make any sense if they fly. It was honestly worst than frog breasts, which I can't stand just as much, they just weren't as frequent. Then there are lots of (horny) bugs, but then there are bumble bees that act like dogs, but should be loyal to their queen, not a fairy. We can blame fey magic, but since he has his own wings, he shouldn't RIDE it. Now, the actual story: it makes sense to split up the nature dynamics into "nationalities", and the world is crafted in some detail, but why did they chose these details. We basically have a Spanish prince, a beetle pimp, a french...hobo(?) swallow, a mole that is a wealthy business man, and then the fairy kingdom which makes the most sense, other than they fail to have nature gradually deliver winter (why they're in charge, I don't know) and suddenly murder anyone who hasn't sheltered. This movie has a problematic feminist story: she's born looking for companionship. She gets desperate for anyone, then wants a prince, so she doesn't even necessarily want the only guy she's ever seen, until she knows he's the prince and he promises her all this stuff. Then she's kidnapped, force on stage for entertainment (strips), led poorly by the hobo swallow, and pressured to marry the mole, but then marries the guy that sort of looks like her, and then he changes her to be just like him. Just watch "Fern Gully" or any of the Disney fairy stuff instead, please.