Hercules (1983)

I suppose the give away is the opening logo from "Cannon" - that usually spoke volumes about what was going to come next - and here, well yep - it is pretty much as poor as expected. This time, hulky Lou Ferrigno picks up the mantle as the demi-god son of Zeus. I don't recall this being one of his twelve labours, but he must join with the powerful sorceress "Circe" (Mirella D'Angelo) to thwart a cunning plan by King Minos (the wooden as any Trojan horse William Berger) to take over the world with his magically imbued - by his personal sorceress "Adriana" (Sybil Danning) - robots. Yes, that's robots...! Not the kind Ray Harryhausen might devise that fly and make cute squeaking sounds; but bad-ass tin beasties that will make him ruler of the world. What also irks our hero, is that Minos plans to sacrifice his girlfriend "Cassiopeia" (Ingrid Anderson) so he has to get a move on before she is toast! The dialogue is dreadful, as are the visual effects - and Ferrigno makes Steve Reeves look like Laurence Olivier. I have watched a load of what is somewhat disparagingly called "Peplum" over the years, and some of it is truly terrible - but I would venture to suggest that this sits comfortably within that group - and nowhere near the top, neither! It is sort of like "Conan" (1982) but without, well just about everything... Not good, sorry.