Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

So "Sam" (Shia LaBeouf) reckons after his first death-defying dose of mechanised shenanigans, that he is done with all things "Autobot" and so looks forward to settling down at college with "Mikaela" (Megan Fox). Nope, not to be. He keeps having dreams, and vivid, mysterious, dreams that feature mysterious writings? Just like with the first outing of this franchise, the story drags the young couple into a battle between the "Autobots" and their foes, the "Decepticons" only this time the rehash of the hidden power-cube story tries to immerse itself in ancient Egyptian mythology as a means of making the never ending assemble/disassemble/reassemble fight scenes emerge as something less repetitive and, frankly, dull. There isn't really a script to speak of, and at 2½ hours this really does feel like you could have actually built one of the pyramids in the time it takes to come to what is the inevitable tee for another sequel. John Turturro steals his scenes as the ultra-hammy agent "Simmons" and we have Josh Duhamel as the eye-candy in an uniform but as with the first film, Fox is as wooden as a skateboard. Although there is pretty much non-stop action throughout, I still couldn't tell who is fighting with whom nor is "Bumblebee" getting any better at the close protection game. One for die hard fans, I think - it certainly left me yawning.

'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen' is much like the original for me, in that I never got hooked into what was being portrayed in front of my eyes; I was more just processing the events, rather than actually absorbing anything. Don't get me wrong, neither flicks are bad, just not good in my opinion. I personally have a hard time differentiating all of the robots, even main dude Optimus Prime. Their designs aren't eye-catching to me, I don't feel like I'm looking at anything other than metal and tiny little light up eyes. The wall-to-wall action doen't help either, what with them just clattering into each other constantly. With that said, the aforementioned carnage does help in regards to the pacing and run time. 150 minutes is way too long, though to be honest it flows well for a movie of that length and I was never desperate for the end credits to arrive. I just wasn't properly enjoying myself at any point. Shia LaBeouf works, a competent and well chosen lead no doubt. Megan Fox really is only there to look beautiful though, eh? No dislike directed at Fox at all, more so at those responsible for the lack of tangible character development offscreen. The rest of the cast are alright, Tyrese Gibson is quite underused though. The voice cast are slightly better than those behind LaBeouf/Fox. I watched that first film just over five years ago, I hadn't realised until recently that they had made seven (!) of them; plus that bonus one last year. As if I'm going to watch them al... of course I am. I'm bound to like at least one, right?