Something in the Water (2024)

Whisky maybe, or even gin? Certainly nothing remotely exciting as we follow a group of girls who have arrived in the Caribbean for the wedding of "Lizzie" (Lauren Lyle). Her four closest friends have arrived, not without baggage of course, and on the day before they are due to get hitched, the five set off for a leisurely day on a island beach some miles away. What we know from the start that two of the women used to be a couple, but an heinous attack on the street appears to have put paid to that. The fairly obnoxious and foul-mouthed "Cam" (Nicole Rieko Smith), "Lizzie" and their other pal "Ruth" (Ellouise Shakespeare-Hart) decide that abandoning these two - "Meg" (Hiftu Quasem) and "Kayla" (Natalie Mitson) on the sand to "talk about things" might be good idea and from here on in I was very much on the side of whatever was in the water - so long as it was hungry. That's the crux of the problem with this - there's virtually no action at all; nothing to remotely scare or unnerve us, just five people about whom I really couldn't have cared less. The direction is chronically slow with loads of pictures of people (luckily dwindling) bobbing about on the water waiting for a rescue that can only come for us once it has come for them... I gather the human body contains a mere 5 litres of blood, well nobody bothered to tell Hayley Easton Street or writer Cat Clarke as that small fact is constantly overlooked! The editing tries a little harder to engender a feint sense of menace, but the acting and atrociously banal dialogue leaves this weak and uninteresting. This is definitely a candidate for worst cinema film of the year!