Dogging: A Love Story (2009)

What a shame - this could actually have made for quite a funny template for a film if only they hadn't opted for the banal and puerile. "Dan" (Luke Treadaway) is an out of work journalist who decides to write a piece about the practice of dogging. Now if you don't know - that's when you drive to some remote spot and have sex with folks peering in the window, or taking photos - or even filming it. "Dan" is also a bit sexually frustrated, a fact not helped by his flatmate "Rob" (Richard Riddell) who fancies himself as a bit of a Lothario. It's whilst chatting on the internet that "Dan" encounters "Horny Geordie Lass" (Kate Heppell) and after the bravado dies down, they both decide they kind of like each other and decide to meet. Do they keep up the pretence of the dogging (neither of them are really into it) or do they try something a bit more grown up? Well to be honest, and much as I like Luke T, I just didn't care. It's smutty and crass - but worse than that, it has no plot. There is no story nor do the characters have anything to say. Once we've seen a few steamed up windscreens - there is actually very little actual sex, here - then you've seen them all. There's a glimmer of talent from Michael Socha's chavvy "Jim" who has a better than average chat-up line - though not so successful on the top deck of a bus, but otherwise this is really a waste of everyone's time both behind the camera and on the sofa. Maybe next time don't go for the easy "Carry On" option because this just isn't funny.